Ruth walks into the gym, carrying a hot cup of tea and greeting Sam in her Russian persona. She puts down the tea, which is burning her hand and says that they drink tea in Russia with pain. Sam tells her to stop with the accent, that it's a little early for it. She says, using the accent, that it's never too early to be in character. He argues that it is, and she asks in her normal voice what Russians have against mugs. He tells her that there's a metal thing with a handle that the cup goes into. She asks how he knows that and he says that he used to date a Russian woman. She didn't get along with his dog and had a weird mole. She asks just why it is that she's there early. Debbie walks in and knocks over the tea, asking what it's doing there. Ruth explains that it was too hot, saying she'll get paper towels.
Debbie says that she tolerated Ruth being there because she likes watching Sam made her feel bad, butt hey have an unspoken agreement to stay away from each other. He tells her it's time to break the rule, that she told him to find her a great heel and Ruth is one. Debbie insists that she won't work with Ruth. Sam says she's a shining star and Ruth is a dirty heel. Debbie is USA and Ruth's Soviet Union. It's the main event. Ruth tries out her Russian accent, but gets no reaction from Debbie. Sam says that Ruth was killing with it, telling her to do the thing he likes. She gets up, giving her name as Zoya the Destroya and telling Debbie that she's a weak capitalist dog. She's a noble Soviet bear. Debbie is stone-faced. Sam tells her to do it in the ring, that it'll look better up there. Sam insists that Debbie watch. Ruth says that she's been working on moves called the hammer and sickle. She starts with a body slam and then she sickles the feet, then gets her in a hammerlock. Her opponent then locks her around, but she comes back with the "soon-to-be-famous rough toilet paper." She shows some other moves, including "the bread line" and "the potato soup." Debbie just stares. Ruth continues that Debbie would come back and defeat her with something American and awesome. Sam says that Ruth is the best villain they have and everything she needs. Debbie says they can do better and leaves. Sam says it's not what he was hoping for. He tells her to take the day off. She says she's ready to work, but Sam says she can't if he can't get her scene partner into the ring. He says he'll deal with Debbie. She asks what she's supposed to do. He suggests maybe she get a facial or go shopping. She suggests she could work on her character and sharpen the edges. Sam agrees that she could do a deep dive.
Justine Biagi is with the pizza guy, Billy Offal, having breakfast. He asks if she wants dessert. She questions the idea of breakfast dessert, but he is all into it. She suggests carrot cake and he agrees that's genius. They kiss. She says she doesn't have time, that she has to practice. He suggests that she ditch. She won't hear of it. He suggests that he come with her, but she tells him that Sams says the rehearsals are closed. He asks who that is and she tells him he's the director. She asks if he's ever seen Venus in Chains or Gina the Machina. He says he's seen Venus in Chains. He thought it sucked, that it was a total hack job, with nothing but breasts and blood. She says that's the genre and he replies that ripping of De Palma isn't a genre. She notes that De Palma ripped off Hitchcock and Billy says that just makes Sam a double hack. She grimaces and leaves, telling him that not everyone thinks his zine is art. He says that Agnostic Toad is awesome and he doesn't care what people think. He says that they should have more coffee. She leaves, saying maybe she'll see him later.
Ruth enters the hotel, and talks with the hotel manager, Gregory. She says he's just the person she wanted to see, asking how you say "Gregory" in Russian. He replies "Gregory," telling her he has to go. He asks if she needs something. She says she needs to pick his brain. He responds that he doesn't need to pay for it. He says he has a woman. She tells him she's not a hooker. She's an actress, and she needs to learn more about being Russian. He's the only Russian she knows. He tells her she doesn't know him and he needs to go. She asks if she can come with and he says it's a family function. She says families love her, begging that she wants to be an authentic representation, not a Russian cartoon villain. She says he deserves better than Boris and Natasha. He gives in, telling her to go change her clothes and not to dress like what she says she's not.
Rhonda and Justine practice. They go at it and Rhonda says that Justine is jealous of her horse. Justine doesn't get it, so she explains that Sam is getting her a horse, hoping to butter her up for a part in his next movie. She says she kind of read it and Justine is surprised that he would have let her read it. Rhonda clarifies that Sam read it to her. She says she was sleeping, then would wake up, then doze off again. She calls Sam's voice soothing. Justine asks if she's sleeping with him. Rhonda replies that it's not great sleep, seeing as she kept waking, but the sex was great. Justine just stares.
Ruth is at Gregory's family event, where he tells her that if she wants to feel Russian, she has to drink vodka. He gives her a shot and they toast. Ruth says that it's strong. She says she'd better to get used to it and puts on the Russian accent, saying that Zoya drinks like sailor and swears like a fish. He tells her that fish don't talk. She says she's really feeling the vodka and probably should have had breakfast. He asks if she wants some sturgeon on rye bread. She says he's a considerate date and he tells her that it's not a date, that he sometimes has a woman. She asks about an ice horse head sculpture and he explains that his nephew Michael is a chess champion in the eighteen-and-under division. She asks if it's a celebration for him. He says that he's new to America and they sponsored him, since Russia doesn't really like Jews. She says she didn't know he was Jewish and he shows her that he wears a giant chai. She thought it was a cat. His cousin, Michael is dragged out, saying that he renounces religion and not to touch his penis. Ruth asks what's going on and Gregory says that it's his bris, that they're free to be Jews now that they're in America. They toast and Michael screams.
In the ring, Tammé and Debbie work on a routine. Tammé says that she saws Debbie in the frozen food aisle of the supermarket and she replies that she couldn't have because she only eats fresh fruits and vegetables, bloody red steaks and occasional apple pie. Tammé insists she saw her by the ice cream and Puddin' Pops. There she was - "a stone cold frozen bitch." They go at it. The girls for the Welfare Queen. Debbie gets out of the ring. She complains to Sam that she's supposed to be the face, but they're cheering for Tammé. Sam tells her that this could work, that this is an internal struggle about racial inequality in America. Debbie tells him to find her someone else. He tells her she's too picky. She asks if he has another name-brand actress hiding under the bleachers. He agrees that they'll keep going until they find someone she's comfortable with.
Back at Gregory's event, he comments that life is suffering and Ruth agrees that she was just saying that. She compares herself to a Russian nesting doll, saying that she's many dolls because she's so "into herself." She asks if he gets it, but he calls it a "thinker." She asks him to introduce her to some more people at the party. He refuses, saying that she claims she wants to be authentic, but she keeps asking stupid questions - they didn't all work in factories and write sad poetry. She says she'll introduce herself instead. She walks up to a woman, introducing herself as Zoya, and the woman asks Gregory just who she is, where his wife is. He says she's mad at him, that she thinks he doesn't pay enough attention to her. Ruth comments that "It more fun than work break at Gulag" and the woman demands what's the matter with her. Gregory says that she claims to be an actress by might actually be a hooker, and that she might be a nice present for his son once he heals. The woman asks why he would bring her to such a sacred event and he says that he has trouble saying no. Michael demands that someone get him a drink and the woman leaves Ruth, telling her "Nice to meeting you," which Ruth loves. She asks Gregory why this event is happening now, that normally a bris would happen when you're a baby, not when you're old enough to scream for vodka. He says that it wasn't an option in Russia, that they had to live in secret. Ruth says that this is just like Yentl and Gregory agrees.
Michael asks if Ruth will sing something from Yentl and Gregory urges him not to encourage her. He says that he loves Barbra Streisand and it's his party. Gregory asks if anyone has a microphone. Ruth asks what's happening and Gregory explains that Michael wants her to sing. He hands her the microphone. She gets on the microphone, saying that Gregory has had a very rough day, and he should picture her in a little cap and glasses, pretending to be a man. She sings "This Is One of Those Moments" from Yentl. Back at the ring, Debbie and Arthie chase after each other. Arthie is very fast, calling Debbie an "infidel" and telling her that she can't fight her if she can't catch her. Debbie stops and shakes her head. "Nope." Sheila is Sam's next attempt at finding Debbie the perfect heel. Debbie calls her a mangy mutt, asking if she wants to bite her. She leans over the ring, offering up her butt, which Sheila just calls "reductive." Debbie asks Sam what she's supposed to do - if she's supposed to debate Sheila. Sam sighs. He finds Cherry in the restrooms and asks if she's leaving. She asks him why she wouldn't; that today is a glorified private rehearsal. He says he has a star problem and she asks what about the other 12 girls that he has. He says that he and "Barbie" need to get things together and she'll come back when they're ready to work. She leaves and he takes a pee, only for Justine to come in. He asks if he can get some privacy and they go at each other. He suggests that she work on her wrestling moves and she suggests that he work on his movies instead of selling out.
He asks her what that means, how it is that he's selling out. She says that he's doing a wrestling show that's nothing but a big casting couch for him. He curses Rhonda, saying that what he has with Rhonda is none of her business, so she should keep quiet. "Right," she says, that he only listens women if he's having sex with them. He tells her to go back to practice - that if she doesn't start impressing him, he's canning her. She sighs, telling him he peed on his pants. Back at the ring, Sam's next candidate for Debbie's heel is Reggie. Debbie calls her "Viking scum," saying that she should go back to Norway. Reggie picks her up and bodyslams her. She shouts that she was Liberty Belle, and Debbie tells Sam to hire someone else, someone without rage issues. He asks her why she's fighting the inevitable. Debbie replies that Ruth had sex with her husband and Sam tells that that's life. She has to get over it, wake up, and be a professional. She can't just go out, do coke and use up all her money. She says she's trying to make the best of a bad situation, asking how much worse it could get. He replies that she's young, she's working, so she needs to shut up. She says that she could be at home with her baby and Sam replies that babies are boring. They don't party, haven't traveled, and have no sense of irony. He says that he knows she loves being a temperamental star. She would be bitter and resentful sitting at home with the kid. He insists that Ruth is the right match for her. He tells her that there are two reasons - the first being that she's actually talented, and secondly that she's going to make Debbie look great.
As Sam is telling Debbie to hate Ruth all she wants, Ruth walks in the door, shouting "Shalom, everyone!" She says that she is Gittel, the orthodox warrior, that it's all about the Jews now. Sam asks her what's going on, and she says it's her new character, since Russia can't go to war with America. She points to Arthie, saying that she is going to take the terrorist and they are going to kill. She's going to build settlements and Arthie will try to blow her up, but it won't work because she's too clever and thrifty. She says not to get her wrong, that she loves the Russians, and could have gone all the way with them. She says it's all about going with the flow. She calls out Arthie, but Arthie says she's been working on some things with Melrose. Ruth asks Sam what she's supposed to do.
Debbie steps forward, calling her a "typical whiny Soviet." She walks towards Ruth, mocking her new outfit. She insults Russian nuclear weapons, saying "Wait until you get a load of our warheads." She calls America the greatest country on Earth, and saying she's willing to fight for it. She steps in the ring. Ruth sheds the disguise and follows. She takes shots at American fast food and football, and Sam starts filming. Ruth gets in the ring, Debbie grabs at Ruth's neck, and it is on. Ruth tells Debbie to throw her, and she does, knocking her to the ground. She tells her to stay down there. Ruth says she may have defeated her today, but the cold war is starting to heat up. Ruth says she has to barf and leaves. Debbie comments that Russians are the world's biggest alcoholics and can't hold their liquor. Back at the hotel, Gregory chats with Billy. He tells him that he sometimes has a woman, who thinks he doesn't give her enough pleasure with mouth. Billy tells him that he really likes Justine, but he can't seem to say anything right. He suggests that he not say so much and instead give pleasure with mouth. Billy says it's a thought. Back at the gym, Justine steals Sam's camera.
- Britt Baron as Justine Biagi
- Kimmy Gatewood as Stacey Beswick
- Rebekka Johnson as Dawn Rivecca
- Sunita Mani as Arthie Premkumar
- Kate Nash as Rhonda Richardson
- Marianna Palka as Reggie Walsh
- Gayle Rankin as Sheila the She-Wolf
- Kia Stevens as Tammé Dawson
- Jackie Tohn as Melanie Rosen
- Ellen Wong as Jenny Chey
- Casey W. Johnson as Billy Offal