The girls stand out in the middle of the street, promoting GLOW. Sheila rushes up, introducing a guy named Rob. She says he's bringing his entire coven to the show. "Butts in seats," she says. Later, the girls examine a list. Tammé is excited at having "made the list," but everyone made the list. It's a lineup for the wrestling matches - Melrose vs. Sheila the She Wolf, Maccu Pichu vs. Vicky Viking, Junkchain and Welfare Queen vs. Beat Down Biddies, Brittanica vs. Scab, Fortune Cookie vs. Beirut and Liberty Belle vs. Soya the Destroya [sic]. Tammé points out that she and Cherry are a team. "I wonder why," comments Cherry dryly. Rhonda says that her name has a star next to it because she's bright like a star. In fact, each matchup has one name with a star - the one with the star is supposed to win the match, as Carmen explains. Ruth and Debbie look at the list and Ruth comments that it's official now. Debbie points out that they spelled the name of her character, "Zoya," wrong.
Sam and Bash discuss the upcoming match. Sam notes that they have Glen Klitnick coming, referring to him as "Glen Clitface." Bash urges him not to say it that way because it'll get in his head. Sam says that with the suit in, that makes this their first official production meeting. Bash tells Sam he's there for him and they shake hands. They discuss personnel issues, including cameraman, sound and an announcer. Bash asks if he's really going to need everything by Friday and Sam says that they shoot the pilot in a few weeks. They should get them early while they can work out the kinks. He says that the girls can do their own hair and makeup, but they're going to need a budget for costumes. He says that also the video camera he got him got stolen, so he needs another. Bash is bothered by this, asking if he just lost it. Sam says that he didn't, that it was there and then not there. Bash asks if he tried to look for it. Sam asks if he's his mother, saying that he did indeed try to look for it. Bash says that if they need a new camera, it's coming out of his salary. Sam replies that he's supposed to be the rich guy. Bash tells him that it's not Monopoly money, that it's about accountability and thrift. Sams says he sounds like a Protestant and Bash asks if that's a bad thing. Bash calls down to the girls, saying that if any of them have info on the whereabouts of his video camera or if they happened to steal it, then they need to bring it back. He says there's no questions asked, except that they'll be immediately fired, that there's already too many of them. Justine looks troubled.
Cherry demonstrates some moves on Carmen. She asks Debbie and Ruth if they think they can handle them and Ruth agrees that they seem manageable. Debbie suggests they open with more panache instead. Cherry says that she picked the sequence because it's something they can actually do. Debbie says it's all really boring, just the same three moves she taught to Melrose and Sheila in a different order. Cherry says that the audience won't know this and Ruth suggests that they just try it and they can always add on. Debbie agrees to try it. In their hotel room, Sheila and Ruth watch Jeopardy! Ruth paints her face, but thinks she's still missing something, suggesting that maybe she could find an ushanka, a big fur hat. Sheila says that if Debbie needs fur, she knows a guy. They could also hunt it, as there's a feral cat colony in the empty lot down the street. Debbie enters the room and seeing Ruth's outfit says that she was going to wear red. Ruth says that she could wear something else and as Sheila shouts out Jeopardy! answers, Debbie asks her to give them a minute. Sheila says that she won't. Debbie tells Ruth that she doesn't want to look like an asshole on Friday. Ruth tells he to not be hard on herself, that her wrestling has really improved. Debbie says that they both will, that Cherry's moves are amateur and not exciting. She recalls the wrestling match she saw, in which Steel Horse rode in on a motorcycle and did backflips. Ruth is surprised that she went to a wrestling match and Debbie replies that she's not the only one who does research. Ruth agrees that they can put in extra time, that she can work around her schedule. She says she's not interested in getting coffee with her or talking about her life, but they do need to step it up, and "Shaft's mom" won't get them there.
Cherry applies makeup in front of a mirror, commenting that you can't tell Debbie anything. Keith clears his throat, standing before her in a pinstriped suit. She asks if he's going to a costume party. He tells her that Bash stopped by, having heard he was available. He's the new referee. Cherry cheers and hugs him. He says he'll call every match for her. She tells him that she only has one and it's a tag-team match. She doesn't even get her own fight. He tells her that she'll shine no matter how many people are in the ring. She just needs to add a little extra something-something. Carmen, Ruth and Debbie visit Carmen's home, where Tommy says that she's come crawling back. He says that she's lucky their dad is on the road. She says she's not there to apologize. Ruth explains that they need help, that they came to train with them, the Lumberjacksons. Tommy replies that their busy and Carmen points out that he's sitting on the porch eating Pringles. He wipes off some crumbs and Carmen comments to the others that they'll do it. They assemble in a ring outside and Ruth explains that the U.S. vs. Russia idea that she and Debbie have going. Debbie tells them that she wants to fly, literally leave the ground, leaving the audience slackjawed. Ruth says that she wants the whole audience to boo her because they hate her so much, but it still has to be about Debbie, since she wins the match. Tommy and Kurt demonstrate some moves, Tommy suggesting a strong shoulder tackle. Kurt demonstrates a drop kick. They demonstrate several more moves, until finally Debbie sees one she likes.
Back in the ring, Cherry tells Tammé something that astounds her. She asks what Sam said about it and Cherry says that Sam wants them to fight two old white ladies. She asks her to think about how that's going to look - a rapper and a welfare queen abusing the elderly. She tells Tammé that they're empowered if they do her version instead, like "Pam Grier times two." That is, unless Tammé wants to spend the next three weeks hollering about food stamps. Tammé asks if they'll really do it and Cherry points out Dawn and Stacey, who are taking turns butting themselves up against a brick wall. Back at the Jacksons, Ruth and Debbie go over the move. Debbie likens it to a trust fall, saying that she stares at Ruth and remembers all the reasons why she doesn't trust her. Ruth promises that her body will take the fall if she misses. They practice the move repeatedly, sometimes pairing off the Jacksons. Slowly, they get better. They eventually take it back to the gym, having slowly developed a full, complicated and exciting routine. It comes together very well.
In Sam's room, Rhonda searches around, looking for material for her costume. Sam asks her to stop ransacking his drawers. She says that she wants glasses and a bowtie and Sam replies that she's going to look like the asshole from AC/DC. She tells him he's nervous about the match. He admits that he is and he doesn't want to talk about it. She walks away and returns with a videotape, calling it a "good-luck present." She says it's a video of her. She asks if she should put it on and he agrees that she should. She does. It's her doing a cheesy song-and-dance routine about GLOW. He asks if she's rapping and she says she's speak-singing like Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady. He asks how she shot it and she says it was on the videocamera that she found in her locker. He asks if this would be his videocamera and she says someone put it there. He asks why she didn't tell him and she says she wanted to surprise him. Sam says the video is pretty catchy. That morning, he meets with Bash, who is setting up equipment, and asks if he's having a yard sale. Bash explains that they've got lights in the ceiling and he got his sister's karaoke machine and a Casio City keyboard. He says that he didn't get Sam a camera operator because he lost his camera, but he did get him a referee. Sam is surprised to see Keith. Sam asks if they're doing community theater and Bash tells him to embrace the "do-it-yourself charm." Sam asks who's going to announce - him? Bash replies that he has to chaperone, Glen, and Sam will be the announcer. Glen comes in with a big banner to plaster over the ring - "Sponsored by Patio Town." Sam sighs. He tests out the microphone and keyboard.
The girls get themselves ready. Carmen comments that she's never done anything in front of an audience before. Tammé tells her she's in for a treat. Ruth suggests to Debbie that they have a safe word in case they need to abort. Debbie suggests "Human Mabubifarti" - the name of a real-estate agent that was on a bench outside Ruth's old apartment. She loves that name. Sam comes in, asking if anyone knows how to play the piano or a keyboard. Sheila says that she does. He tells her he has a job for her and says to the rest that he wishes he could tell them there's a full house out there, but there's not. It's a group of about 20-30, including freaks, some children and a homeless guy. He tells them to break a leg. Rhonda asks him for a kiss for luck. He says that she won't need it - he scripted the match so that she would win. He kisses her anyway. Justine comes in, asking if he asked her about his camera. She says that they all saw it in her locker and he tells her to just go get ready. He asks Rhonda what she did to Justine - why she's trying to frame her. Rhonda says that Justine is jealous and has a crush on him. He's a brilliant director and she's seen every one of his films. He asks what he's supposed to do about it, and she says he should be kind and generous to her, like he is with everyone.
It begins. He welcomes the "crowd" to the first ever match of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. There is scattered, light applause. He introduces the first match, the Battle of the Beasts - Vicky the Viking vs. Maccu Pichu. Sheila plays "Exodus" on the keyboard. He asks if it's the only song she knows and she says that it is. A lone member of the crowd applauds. Glen says that he likes Maccu, that she's very winning. Carmen is breathing very heavily and has obvious stage fright. She pulls off her hat, saying that she can't do it and leaves. Glen asks Bash if this is part of the gag. Bash says that he'll go check it out. In the ring, Keith declares Vicky the winner by default. Outside, Bash shouts at her, asking what's going on, then noticing her panicked breathing asks if she's okay. She says she thinks she's having a heart attack. She collapses. Back inside, Stacey and Dawn talk. Dawn says that she's uncomfortable, worried that people are going to freak out and possibly put them on a watch list. She's wondering where she was when Martin Luther King got murdered and if Bill Cosby will get mad at them. Stacey says nobody will know that it's them - it's why they're wearing costumes. She says that it's not racist if the black girls came up with the idea. Dawn agrees that it's them. Stacey asks if she's ready and they agree that they are. They both don white hoods. Dawn curses. Back in the ring, Beirut beats Fortune Cookie, to light applause. Sam introduces Ethel and Edna - the Beatdown Biddies. They instead enter in their hoods, shouting "White power!" Keith says that it's not appropriate and they can't come on wearing that. Everyone boos and Sam calls it inappropriate social satire. Cherry and Tammé burst through the door, Cherry saying that someone needs to teach the Casper-looking racist idiots a lesson. Tammé says that she may be a Welfare Queen, but she doesn't tolerate bigots. The audience is into it, cheering. Sam says that it's not a match for children, then backtracks, saying that you're never too young to know about the country's racial history.
The match begins. Dawn and Stacey fight dirty, but Cherry and Tammé come back swinging. Sam says that it's not as bad as he thought and it looks like the blacks have the upper-hand. Cherry rips off the white sheet, exposing the body underneath, and finally the hood, revealing Stacey. The audience laughs and cheers, fully into it for the first time since the show began. Dawn and Stacey flee, Stacey saying that they weren't supposed to show their faces. Keith declares Welfare Queen and Junkchain the winners and everyone cheers wildly. Sam says that the Black Panthers, or whatever they're supposed to be, have won. Outside, a medic tells Carmen that her vitals check out and the only fainted as an extreme response to emotional distress. She asks about her heart and he says that if she's worried about, she should give Weight Watchers a try. He walks off and Bash calls him a jerk. She begs him not to tell anyone and he asks what he would tell them - who isn't emotionally distressed? She says that this should be in her DNA, but she didn't even make it into the ring. He says that he gets it, that he feels like he's disappointing a lot of people right now. She tells him that everyone loves him, that he's like Santa Claus. He tells her that his mom cut him off. She figured out how much money he was spending on the program. She asks just how much it was and he admits it was about $600,000. She asks how he spent so much and he says that it added up between renting the motel, paying their salaries and buying the gym. She's shocked that he bought it and he calls it easier than trying to figure out all of the paperwork. She asks if the show is off. He says that it's still on, that he just needs to figure out a couple things.
Back at the ring, Sam announces the final match of the night. Ruth tells Debbie she'll be glad. Debbie nods and walks out as Sam announces Liberty Belle. Sheila starts to play "Exodus" and he stops her. The crowd cheers upon seeing her wrapped in an American flag, chanting "USA! USA!" Liberty Belle tells the crowd that she'd like call on the power of her three favorite Americans: Ronald Reagan, Larry Bird, and Jesus Christ himself. Sam introduces Ruth - "straight from Moscow, the commissariat for the proletariat. Here to destroy our American way of life. The Cold War never looked hotter... Zoya the Destroyer!" She walks out playing a boombox with Russian music and everyone jeers and boos. Liberty Belle tells her that she's already lost, that Americans will never give up their freedom. Zoya calls her a capitalist pig and throws off her hat. Liberty Belle tells her to defect or die. Zoya tells her to prepare herself for mutually-assured destruction. Keith tells them that he wants a good clean fight, but Zoya fights dirty and the match begins. The crowd jeers as Zoya pummels Liberty Belle. Zoya says that it's sad what's happened to Miss America. Sam asks if this is bye-bye, Miss American Pie. Keith says she's doing great, asking if they know what happens next, because he doesn't. Liberty Belle, cowering at the edge of the ring, says that she surrenders, asking if they can talk this out like adults. Zoya comes closer and she gets up and slams her. She takes the upper hand, now pushing Zoya to the edge of the ring. She asks how you spell "freedom" - U.S.A.! She knocks Zoya down and stands on the corner of the ring, going for the move they practiced before. The crowd shouts for her to jump. Zoya calls her a stupid American Barbie. However, Debbie, for it is Debbie now, has become distracted, seeing her husband Mark watching from the audience. She steps down and the audience jeers, demanding that she get back up. Zoya calls her a classic American, saying that she runs away.
Backstage, Mark says that what she's doing is insane. Debbie replies that it isn't, it's a job. He says that he won't talk to her, but she'll talk to Ruth. She says they're working together. He asks if it's some sort of elaborate ploy. She tells him he sounds crazy and he replies that she joined a wrestling TV show. He says that you can take the girl out of the trailer park... and stops himself, not sure how to finish it. She says it wasn't a trailer park and he tells her that watching her, he didn't even know who this woman was. She asks how he even found her and he explains that he followed her parents when they dropped off Randy the week before. She calls this being like a stalker and he says that it's like a man who's sick of wondering where his wife and child are. He says that the Russian guy at the desk was kind enough to invite him to the live girl-on-girl wrestling match starring daytime television's former Laura Morgan. He says it's mind-blowing that she put her name on this trash. She curses him and starts to walk out, then tells him that he always does this. Whatever success she has, whatever she has built, he wants to tear her down. He hands her divorce papers, telling her to get herself a lawyer. She cries.
Back in the ring, Zoya works the crowd, saying that in the Soviet Union, they don't celebrate American Thanksgiving. They celebrate the feast of Lenin, thanking the rats for not eating them. Rhonda, as Britannica, grabs the microphone and starts singing her song from the videotape. She steps into the ring and Zoya joins in the song. The rest of the cast gets into the ring and starts singing the song - "GLOW, GLOW, that's our name. Women's wrestling is our game. If we play rough, please don't blame us. Our style is wild and you know you can't tame us!" Sheila remains at the keyboard, playing "Exodus." The audience claps and starts cheering along. Bash and Carmen return, bobbing their heads to the song. The audience cheers and applauds as the song comes to a triumphant conclusion.
In memory of Chavo Guerrero Sr. 1949-2017
- Britt Baron as Justine Biagi
- Kimmy Gatewood as Stacey Beswick
- Rebekka Johnson as Dawn Rivecca
- Sunita Mani as Arthie Premkumar
- Kate Nash as Rhonda Richardson
- Marianna Palka as Reggie Walsh
- Gayle Rankin as Sheila the She-Wolf
- Kia Stevens as Tammé Dawson
- Jackie Tohn as Melanie Rosen
- Ellen Wong as Jenny Chey
- Chris Lowell as Bash
- Bashir Salahuddin as Keith
- Rich Sommer as Mark Eagan
- Andrew Friedman as Glen Klitnick